‘The X Factor’ USA review: Keith Beukelaer returns, Demi Lovato, Kelly Rowland learn teams

The latest -We’re not going to spend too much time tonight talking about “The X Factor” USA’s auditions, mostly because there were only around half an hour of them, and most of them were either boring or awful. This list includes Keith Beukelaer, who is a guy who some fans of “American Idol” are going to remember from a long time ago. Were these guys really taking the show seriously in putting him through? Well, we actually didn’t mind so much that he got to advance, given the way in which he was punished for doing so later.

Basically, what they did to the 200+ advancing acts tonight was the same sort of garbage that they have done to acts on “America’s Got Talent” and a few other shows for years: They bring in a huge group of people, only to tell a good many of them to go back home. Imagine how awful that must feel; you don’t get to defend yourself, and instead, you have to just go back home and wonder what you could have done differently given that the judges all said that they liked you.

Now, these are the acts that advanced (with a thanks to producers for actually giving us all of the names).

The Girls – Khaya Cohen, Bree Randall, Jamie Pineda, Simone Torres, Rion Paige, Danie Geimer, Rylie Brown, Primrose Martin, Ellona Santiago, and Ashly Williams. Demi Lovato has them, and should be the perfect fit for them.

The Boys – Carlito Olivero, Chase Goehring, Timmy Thames, Isaiah Auston, Tim Olstad, Al Calderon, Josh Levi, Isaac T. (couldn’t see his name, and it was barely shown), Carlos Guevara, and Stone Martin. Paulina Rubio getting them is surprisingly great.

The Groups – Glamour, Good News, Yellow House Canyon, Alex & Sierra, Roxxy Montana, Wild Thingz (ugh with the z), and Girls United (clearly, some are being manufactured). Simon Cowell (again) has them, which is proof that he really gets whatever he wants (or at least so we believe).

The Overs – Lillie McCloud, Jeff Brinkman, Rachel Potter, Kristine Mirelle, Victoria Carriger, James Kenney, Allison Davis, Denny Smith (Santa!), Lorie Moore, and Jeff Gutt. They will be mentored by Kelly Rowland, which is probably a good choice. She is probably the right person, since she’s found much of her solo success over 25.

The Manufactured Groups – There is a boy band-ish group, a country trio, and some girl groups.

We really cannot say that we’re pulling desperately for any of the singers that are left right now, mostly because we barely know most of them. It’s still a little bit early in the game, though, and hopefully, this “four chair challenge” round (which you can read a little bit more about here) is going to provide for an opportunity to actually learn a little more about all of these people. With that being said, we’re going to miss the judges’ houses. We already have a show that emphases four chairs, and the ones on “The X Factor” aren’t even cool.

Photo: Fox

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