The Bachelorette episode 5: Was John Paul Jones eliminated?

Hannah Brown - Bachelorette castTonight, The Bachelorette said goodbye to a living legend — none other than the fantastic John Paul Jones. He’s a man so famous, you only need know him by his three separate names. John. Paul. Jones. We’re going to miss him dearly. Heck, we’re already missing him and he’s only been around a short period of time.

John Paul Jones’ elimination comes about probably for one simple reason: He’s a character more so than he is someone who was an actual contender. Whether it be his glorious locks of hair or his ridiculous demeanor, he was never going to win this show. We’re not even sure that he was ever cast to win this show. The man screams Bachelor in Paradise. He is the King of Paradise and that season hasn’t even aired. He hasn’t even been officially cast yet, but we’re not sure that it matters. We just don’t want to live in a world where this man is not a part of that show. He’s perfectly build for it in every possible way.

We could make this entire article into a tribute to the best John Paul Jones moments — his introduction, him freaking out during the birth simulator, the way that he looked at Hannah, and even the way that he ran through the field during a rugby game like a wild animal. There’s just something about the man that cannot and will not ever be replicated. We honestly still don’t know anything about him but we’re almost not sure that it matters — we just know that he’s an incredible contestant who reminds us of the good in this show. There’s so much drama and controversy a lot of the time but with John Paul Jones, there’s something pure.

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So where do we think the competition’s going to from here? Probably to a more serious place, but we have a hard time taking anything in the world seriously when you’ve got Luke P. as a part of it. This is a guy who takes himself incredibly seriously, but it’s hard for you to root for him for just a split second. There’s something so duplicitous and unlikable about him that it permeates through every single second — and we’re not even talking just about the Luke S. incident.

Here is also where we remind you that Luke P. is probably going to have plenty more lowlights before the end of the season — John Paul Jones certainly wouldn’t have been a part of any of that, mind you.

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