‘Dancing with the Stars: All-Stars’ review: Gilles Marini fights injury, and wins

With Pamela Anderson gone on “Dancing with the Stars,” week two of this “All-Stars” season promised to be the most competitive week quite possibly in the history of the show. Did that happen? It’s fair to say so with one key exception.

We don’t really want to waste much time when it came to the introduction to these performances … let’s just get to them!

Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani – It’s going to be hard enough for Melissa to stay in this competition given her lack of recognition from anyone unfamilair with “The Bachelor,” so going first and almost a kiss of death. This jive was solid, but it almost too much so. It actually ended up being a little dull to watch. Score: 23.5

Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas – Is someone about to shoot their TV? If Bristol stays around despite this dance, it’s possible. The biggest issue here was that for whatever reason, Mark decided to choreograph a quickstep that was barely that at all. He was knocked for it, and our prediction about Bristol being next to go may come true. Score: 18

Helio Castroneves and Chelsie Hightower – This was just pure fun. It was not the best jive we have ever seen in the history of the show, but we are going to be stunned if Helio does not make it far this season based solely on his personality alone. He’s just electric … and he also likes to kiss people. Score: 23

Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina Smirnoff – Now that we are a week into this season, the competitive juices are flowing more than ever, especially when it comes to our former gold medalists. With this smooth quickstep, Apolo had what was at this moment the best routine of the night. Score: 24.5

Sabrina Bryan and Louis van Amstel – It may not have been a given that Louis was even going to be on this season, but he has a really great chance to win the mirrorball trophy here with a partner as determined as Sabrina. In some ways, this is already starting to mirror her first appearance on the show; let’s just hope that it does not end that way. Score: 26

Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy – This was by far Kirstie’s best dance, even if she has only done two of them so far this season. We are at least happy to report that she managed to take things up a notch here with a routine that showed off what Kirstie does best: her abilities to play characters and entertain. Score: 21

Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke – Somewhere, Carrie Ann Inaba apparently failed to realize that Emmitt was joking when he “called out” the IndyCar race in Helio and the speed skater in Apolo during his pre-show package. His quickstep was actually pretty pedestrian, and it was was a fall back to earth after starting so strong. Score: 22.5

Drew Lachey and Anna Trebunskaya – One week after being in the bottom two, Drew managed to come back a little more angry and/or determined to prove that he did not deserve this placement at all. Luckily, he did improve his routine this time around with some intensity, and also a reminder with the music that people do listen to Fall Out Boy. Score: 22.5

Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson – This was one of the strangest things we have ever seen. A jive starring Charlie Chaplin set to a swing rendition of the Radiohead hit “Creep.” Yet, it somehow worked. Joey has never been the best dancer, but he has always been a great entertainer. Score: 22.5

Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough – Derek had a back injury throughout this performance, but it barely showed. This was by far one of the more energetic jives of the night, and also one of the most entertaining thanks in part to the “Hairspray” theme. However, we are starting to have one major beef with Johnson: too many gymnastics references! Score: 25

Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy – Just like we don’t need to hear about Shawn wanting to be on “the podium” every week, do we really need to hear about Kelly’s “zeppelins” (to quote Bruno Tonioli) every week? We know that her body type and her time removed from the show puts her at a disadvantage, but this is really the first week that it really showed. Score: 22

Gilles Marini and Peta Murgatroyd – Gilles got the much-coveted final spot of the night, just in case you had no idea who the producers were interested in showcasing to close out the show. Now, we understand why. This was really one of the better jives of  the night, and it was of course reflected in the score: Score: 25.5

What performance during the show this week was your favorite? Be sure to vote for who you are liking the most below!