‘Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X’ rankings: We go ‘Game of Thrones’ on the Millennial tribe

Michelle -

Remember when Daenerys Targeryan managed to trick the slavers with a deal on “Game of Thrones,” one where she made them legitimately believe that she was willing to give up one of her dragons in exchange for the Unsullied? Well, that was a masterful stroke, and it just so turns out that there are some beautiful parallels (albeit ones we’re probably forcing) between this Mother of Dragons and the Mother of the Triforce (even if she’s not technically in it) Michelle Schubert on “Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X.” First, both love dragons — it was specifically listed on Michelle’s bio that she likes to study them, which has to be challenging given they’re fictional. Also, both have master strokes that they used to protect those they are close to.

If you don’t know where we’re going here, Michelle’s dragons may as well be Taylor, Figgy, and Jay. Sometimes they’re helpful, and other times they’re completely temperamental. They’re often useful if you know what to do with them.

Given that we spent last week comparing the entire Millennial tribe to characters from “The Legend of Zelda,” you probably know where we’re going here — we’re taking the Millennials to the Seven Kingdoms! For the record we are actually ranking based on merit in the game, and not just because we want to assign people different characters. Also, we’re prone to be ridiculously wrong given that we had Mari ranked #1 last week.

9. Zeke Smith (last week: 2) – As of right now, he’s Tyrion Lannister. He’s brilliantly smart, prone to emotion, and judging from his preseason B-roll, has no issue with a good roll in the mud. (Granted, that probably has a very different interpretation for Tyrion.) While Zeke may seem down and out right now, the thing to remember here is that he’s sneaky. Like Tyrion, he could find his way to another continent and try to regroup. (In this case, we’re talking a possible tribe swap.)

8. Adam Klein (3) – Adam is Varys. He’s smart, sociable, and he’s relatively tied to Tyrion. We’re not sure he has “little birds,” so maybe he can ask Tai to borrow Mark the Chicken? Also, both are incredible narrators and probably are not taken nearly as seriously as they should be as threats. Granted, they look absolutely nothing alike, but we’re basing this one more on allegiances than anything else.

7. Michaela Bradshaw (4) – Enter Lyanna Mormont! She doesn’t get a lot of screen time, but when she does it’s AMAZING. She may have strong opinions, but with compelling arguments she can be convinced to go along in a given direction. We’re honestly not sure if her going along with Figgy and company to get rid of Mari was correct, but at least she proved she is flexible and that could aid her in the long run. The only thing that troubles us is that she can be a tad brazen.

6. Jessica “Figgy” Figueroa (10) – It may surprise some, but Figgy’s our Cersei Lannister. It’s probably not a perfect comparison and the one that most people will hit us for online, but let’s put it this way: She’s someone many people thought would be gone by now, has a romance thought of as relatively unseemly (in this case because you’re out playing the game with no toothbrush and in sweaty temperatures), and we feel like there’s the capacity to be ruthless there if need be.

5. Taylor Lee Stocker (7) – If Jessica’s Cersei, do we really need to spell out Taylor for you? Here’s a hint: He’s a warrior not really accustomed to strategy, he also has an unseemly romance, and we do think that some people like him even though they realize he’s not their #1 ally.

4. Will Wahl (5) – Will is Bran Stark. For one, they both have similar hair. Also, we feel like Will’s probably seen enough “Survivor” over the years that he may as well possess the ability to look into the future.

3. Hannah Shapiro (6) – While there may not be a Sam on this tribe, Hannah’s gotta be Gilly! After she looked so tentative at tribal council, we’re not sure anyone is considering Hannah a threat for a long time. She’ll be underestimated for a reason. Meanwhile, we were introduced to Gilly on this show for some sort of reason, right? She has to be important at some point down the line … right? (Controversial stance: We’re actually a big Gilly fan.)

2. Justin “Jay” Starrett (9) – After completely discounting Justin’s abilities as a “Survivor” player this past week, we’re willing to throw him a bone here and coin him Jon Snow. (Yeah, we know that Jon never worked with Cersei and Jaime, but we’re running out of good comparisons here!) What Jay has in common with Jon is that they’re both physically strong, are drive to succeed, and while we don’t think either is a strategic mastermind, at least they’re making an effort. Jay did a pretty good job once the ball started rolling this past week.

1. Michelle Schubert (8) – Silliness aside (she IS the Mother of Dragons, though), we really do have to praise the move Michelle made to convince so many people to go along with her and target Mari. She made it seem like it benefited all of their games individually even if it didn’t, and that is an amazingly difficult thing to pull off in “Survivor.” That alone, at least for now, gives her certified Khaleesi status.

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