The Bachelor is done and Colton Underwood has left the building. After sitting through four hours of handwringing last week, this may be for the best. We now have a chance over the next couple of months to restock our wine supply, get in a good nap (an especially long one is needed after the events last week), and then prepare for the start of The Bachelorette featuring Hannah Brown. That season will be kicking things off in May, but it’s already filming — you can see a picture of Hannah alongside Chris Harrison below!
Before you even ask, we’re not here to spoil anything from her season in advance (we aren’t that kind of website) — just note that there will probably be a few nice guys, some obnoxious frat boys, a dude who drinks too much on the first night, and also someone in some silly costume that makes about 5% of sense to the season as a whole. Someone will make it to the end, someone will be booted before a rose ceremony, Hannah will say “Roll Tide!” about 97 times, and we’ll drown in a pool of tears. You know, the usual stuff you see on every season of this show.
If you missed it – Take a look at some recent thoughts we had on the end of this past season below! Also, be sure to subscribe to CarterMatt on YouTube to ensure you don’t miss any other updates. We have a Bachelor playlist if you want to re-live any other memorable moments from last season.
What we have for you below are three simple suggestions to make this season stronger — to either correct recent mistakes or stay the course on something that is already improving. The Bachelor, as a franchise, does some things right from an entertainment perspective, even if it is always one moment away from descending into total chaos like we saw on UnREAL. It needs some nudges here and there to ensure that it stays on the right path.
1. Keep the two-on-one date in the dust bin – Colton Underwood’s season didn’t have it and guess what — we didn’t miss it at all. The two-on-one date is stupid and a waste of everyone’s time. If you’re on that date, you basically know that you’re not winning the show. No lead on this show is going to subject their future fiancé/fiancée to that level of frustration. It’s basically the date designated to set up a trainwreck to go home while abandoning them on some remote island and acting like production is not there to whisk them away. This worked for comedy a few times, but the joke’s run its course and any smart contestant can see the writing on the wall. If we were on the show and we got handed a two-on-one date, the first thing that we’d do is quit — immediately.
2. No longer give us the “look how strong I am date!” – Seriously. We don’t need to see some bros with an influx of testosterone punching each other in the face until someone goes to the hospital. It doesn’t make anyone more attractive and we’d much rather see the dudes fight about petty things — such as creating the perfect love poem for some group-date showcase or having to find a way to impress Hannah using some non-athletic skill like baking or basket-weaving. We already know that these dudes have muscles and Bachelor in Paradise already exists if you just want to watch abs and men flexing. If you really want to make them show abs, send them to Huntington Beach and force them to make sandcastles or something. We don’t need to see this stereotype of men being ultra physical anymore. How about giving us a guy with brains? With charisma? With an artistic side?
3. Actually (gasp!) allow us to get to know them as people – Quick, tell us five things you know about Cassie Randolph other than that she didn’t want to get engaged to Colton? Can you really do it? We know she’s working to become a speech pathologist and that (ironically) she’s from Huntington Beach. We also know that her sister is dating Gregg Sulkin and her dad is terrifying. Other than that, we know next to nothing and we had a solid two hours of airtime last week devoted almost exclusively to her. How could we not find out more amidst all of the awkward pauses and stutters? We propose a cut of about 50% in kissing scenes and then an increase of 50% to actually give us a chance to get to know a little bit more about some of these people. Let us get invested!
What do you want to see the most from Hannah Brown in her season of The Bachelorette, and do you think there are some big changes that need to be made? Share in the comments. (Photo: ABC.)