Vanderpump Rules season 4, part 3 reunion review: Feuds, romances, plus who Lisa thinks will be engaged next?
On part 2 of Vanderpump Rules reunion, we heard from Brittany about how she felt watching the flirtation of Jax and Lala unfold before her eyes, Scheana took ownership of her issues dealing with Shay’s recovery, and Stassi faced off against Lisa. As the season finally wraps up tonight for part 3 of the reunion, we expect they saved the best fireworks for last.
Andy Cohen loves to start every show out with a bang, and this was no exception. Lisa paid $900 to keep Stassi’s sex tape from being sold and the only thing more humiliating than having the world see your private video is knowing that the bounty wasn’t even a thousand dollars. Lisa insists her issue was never about the money, but Stassi reminds her that it was brought up every time they saw each other. Apparently when Lisa paid off the person selling the tape, Stassi was clear that she wanted a contract signed saying he would never sell it. This did not happen, and Stassi feels she spent $900 for nothing, since he could sell it anyway. Stassi is completely missing the point that Lisa was there for her when she needed her, so Andy moves on to James.
James defends his open discussion of Lala’s sexcapades with another man in front of Lisa, who rightfully calls it indefensible. Lala is none too pleased either, but James makes a good point when he brings up that time she dissed the size of his unit. Lala is horrified by what James said and it ruined her connection with the mystery man to the point that they have blocked one another on social media – that’s when you know it’s legit. James knows there was no excuse for what he said and he apologizes. Lala starts to cry and the others chime in that James signed up for this, but that other man did not and talking about it on camera wasn’t cool. Meanwhile, Lisa lets Andy know that while tossing salads might be Lala’s flavor, she does not partake with Ken. Andy shudders along with America.
Katie thanks James for humiliating her by showing up to her fashion blog launch party to yell at Kristen. He is sorry. Again. Kristen says she wanted no part of him that night, but after weighing the scenarios she thought the best option was to agree to speak to him. It blew up in her face anyway, because he did make a scene. Andy wants to know why Schwartz thinks Stassi reached out to him that night via text, which he feels is because he’s the second weakest link after Kristen. Stassi and Schwartz were pretty tight in the past, and she felt comfortable with his level headed nature. Jax really enjoyed watching footage of Schwartz telling Stassi off for her shoddy treatment of Katie. Even Stassi feels that Schwartz was the right person she needed to hear it from making a bigger impact. Tom Sandoval is suspicious of the tears she cried during the talk with Schwartz and thinks it was a manipulation tactic. Stassi gets very animated in defense of herself, and around 90% of her brand new right boob falls out. Really good work! She hated having to humble herself and eat crow having no idea how it would be received by everyone. Just like Lala said last week, Stassi feels she can’t win with this group either whether she owns her mistakes or not.
When Stassi and Scheana made up at Lala’s party they apparently experienced a shared moment of their souls making love or whatever Scheana said. After filming wrapped, Stassi pulled another disappearing act on her and she realized she did use her to win Katie over. Last month they all took a trip to Utah together to celebrate Katie’s 30th and reconnected and since then they are all good. Stassi has finally made the profound realization that not everyone has the exact same needs as she does and feels this has helped her friendships.
Andy wants James to tell his side of the story with regard to his being fired. James accuses Kristen of showing up at Pump to antagonize him about her other men. He was drunk, of course. Kristen denies going there to create a situation, but everyone in that room and America knows that it’s complete bunk. Kristen brings up the skin crawling she feels in a room with James, to which Miss Ariana smiles broadly and exclaims, “welcome to our world.” Anytime Ariana smiles, you know she has either seen or heard something completely absurd or is about to drop some truth bomb. Kristen asks for someone to speak up on her behalf and literally it was dead silent for 3 full, awkward seconds. James says that night they got into it and Richardson, (head waiter at Pump), tried to step in and get it under control, but drunk James was not having it. He was arrogant and pompous as he played the “Do you know who I am?” card like some reality show Reese Witherspoon wannabe. He says he was ashamed of his behavior watching it back, but it’s clear that Lisa fired him from Pump for his insubordinate behavior, and he’s also been cut down to working SUR one night a week DJing.
Ariana hates on Kristen’s post-psychotic comedy tour some more and we understand Ariana’s point as it’s a craft that needs to be learned and practiced. She seems insulted that Kristen has decided it’s so easy to just get up and be hilarious, but the group defends Kristen a little bit about it, saying she enjoys it and is having fun so who cares? Stassi says that Ariana’s brutal criticism of Rachael’s comedy was mean, and Ariana responds by doubling down with more insults about how unoriginal her jokes are. Kristen makes sure Ariana knows Rachael despises her, and Ariana is thrilled and likens that to a Trump supporter hating her.
Jax is pretty sweet when he talks about his deep love for the two Toms, which Andy throws shade at by bringing up that he had blabbed to Kristen about things Tom and Ariana said behind her back. Jax wants us to know that he isn’t malicious about it. We feel that if you’re still friends with Jax at this point, that you really have to just own it because you know what you’re getting. Katie is so assertive now, and she lets Tom and Ariana know that they say things that are pretty hurtful and it’s hard to resolve a situation when you’re getting that back. Ariana is kind of annoyingly sarcastic and bitter for these reunion episodes and if this is how it was being around her constantly, maybe the girls had a point.
Time for Tequila Katie! The epic rage texts from Katie are brutal, she is a savage drunk and what we heard on the show was only the tip of the iceberg. Our personal favorite was the accusation that Schwartz is secretly in love with Ariana. He was just being the voice of reason as he always is in these situations, and she took it the wrong way because she was drunk. We all need to learn never to text when we are angry – it never leads anywhere good. Scheana says the way to diffuse Katie’s temper is by being loving and drawing her near, not fighting back and pushing her away. We are the same way, Katie! She admits when she is at that point that she says the meanest thing she can think to be hurtful. The fight was actually much more brutal than we even realized, but Schwartz assures us it was squashed. He still has his unhealthy obsession with Lisa intact, as he randomly brings up seeing her topless in the photo at her Villa. Lisa fills us in that what we didn’t see was that the guys ran around her house with it pretending to do things to themselves and laughing.
Andy wants Ariana to talk about why she thinks Jax saw her as withdrawing from the group. She’s not down for pack mentality like Jax is. There seems to be some sort of competition for Sandoval going on in Jax’s mind with Ariana, Tom’s music, and pretty much anything Tom does. Stassi, who knows Jax pretty well, thinks that Jax can’t handle not having all of the attention and we have to agree – Jax is the number one guy, after all.
Katie reveals that the reason she gave no notice about showing up to the Palm Springs girls trip was because she needed to see Stassi’s reaction without her having a chance to prepare. Stassi surprised her with her humility and willingness to own the things she did wrong. Scheana is very honest about why she was jealous seeing the girls bonding without her when she compares it to PTSD and insecurity from the mean girl behavior she experienced from them in the past. We are seeing a much more mature and introspective Scheana at the reunion. Whatever she has been doing since filming ended to gain such growth we highly recommend she keep doing.
About that one night stand Katie had in the past with Carter? Turns out Kristen may have known about it shortly after meeting him through Stassi. She’s accused of using that information to create drama in the group, which she acts shocked to be accused of. Kristen puts her foot so deep in her mouth that it grows back when she references the virtue of Girl Code. They’re all at a place now where this is amusing, so that was pretty much the full and total death of the Stassi/Jax/Kristen saga. Andy wants to know why Kristen agreed to meet James for drinks and hooked up with him while she was dating Carter? She tries to use semantics to weasel out of being caught cheating, but James repeats that she was definitely with Carter when it happened. That poor Carter can’t catch a break on this show. Something about James threatening to blackmail Kristen comes up, but quickly goes nowhere. Kristen talks about how hurt she was hearing that he did sleep with Jenna, to which he replies “and you still took your pants off that night.” We understand that Kristen hurt him, but his disrespect towards her isn’t entertaining. Scheana calls him out on it, and Katie joins in. Lala whispers to nobody in particular that she cannot stand Katie and we expect some fireworks between those two next season. James regrets it and so does Kristen and she explains that everything on the ride home reminded her of why they fell in love, and they ended up hooking up. James graphically details the exact position they were in while hooking up on the car and we all throw up in our mouths a little. It turns out that Kristen did confess the indiscretion with Carter, and through that she realized she truly does want to be with Carter and not James.
At Tom and Katie’s engagement party Lisa decided to let her personal feelings about Stassi and Kristen go for Katie’s sake. Lala tries to defend her drunken snapping at Kristen during her speech by blaming it on her anxiety, but nobody gives her a pass on it. In typical Schwartz fashion, he sees a drama about to erupt and jokes about Lala’s hair instead. Stop being so diplomatic, Schwartz – reunion shows are for the blood, sweat and tears! Lala says she has never been as drunk as she was at the Sur after-party and that she apologized to Kristen through texts for pushing her. She apologizes again and Kristen accepts it with a smile. Same with Katie. Lala is a pretty cool chick and she reminds us of Brandi Glanville on her first season of ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”. Andy asks James what he needs a medical marijuana card for and he struggles to remember the reason. Hmmm. ADHD and sleep disorder is his official answer. Jax says he doesn’t like James for reasons that sound like he is describing himself. He lists how James speaks to women and that he doesn’t act mature enough, and we wonder if he ever hears the words coming out of his mouth. James says Jax is straight up jealous and Jax goes from Jax to Hulk in a matter of seconds. James is nervous because he can see Jax’s bulging neck veins and Jax swears that one day he will kick James’ butt. James blows it off with his arrogance and claims to be ten times more talented than Jax. The whole group is laughing AT James and wants him to know they all find him to be a joke. Andy is still set on digging into why James and Jax hate each other so viciously and it erupts between them again with insults flying. Andy pretty much nails it by labeling it a “Who has a bigger d*ck” battle. Andy thinks since Kristen has had them both she could answer that, and James reminds us that she has on the Aftershow and we should watch it. Jax sits silently. Guess that answers that.
Stassi admits it was strange talking one on one with Jax after all that time. Jax likes it when they are all together like a family, and feels they should forgive her if they forgive his constant messes. Stassi loves Brittany and lists all of her good qualities for Jax. Schwartz asks Lala and James if they ever went to bed together, and they both say one time.
Wrapping up the season, Andy wants Lisa to predict which couple will get engaged next. She thinks Brittany is too good for Jax, and he agrees. She hopes it’s Tom and Ariana. Katie and Tom will be married within a year. Finally, we learn in a game of Shag, Marry, Kill that Stassi would gleefully murder James with acid, marry Jax and shag Sandoval. James makes an attempt to plug his album and Andy can’t believe his ears. Out comes Giggy and Ken along with Peter bearing drinks. Lisa toasts the group and loves them all. Except Jax, for he is a liar.
We liked this episode because there are absolutely no lingering questions, yet still so much chemistry and animosity to make for an interesting and dramatic season 5. We give the final wrap up a Grade A. Cheers! See you next season for more Vanderpump Rules!
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This review was written by Michelle Wilmot and if you want to follow her on Twitter then head on over to the link here.