‘Big Brother 17’ exclusive: Audrey Middleton on gameplay, fellow houseguests, and what’s next

We made it no secret that we were huge fans of Audrey Middleton throughout “Big Brother 17,” and for good reason. There is obviously much to be said about the impact her appearance has had for the transgender community, but to go along with that she was also a big-time gamer who made the live feeds almost constantly entertaining. We had so much fun watching her throughout the season, and are very much bummed to see her go … even if it does mean that we got a chance to interview her today.

Before getting started, we should make it clear that Audrey had not seen any of the show yet at the time we spoke with her Tuesday, so she is speaking almost entirely from experience rather than anything that she witnessed while watching things back.

CarterMatt – You’ve had a couple of days now to look back on the season, and see what the reaction has been like to you and your story. What has the adjustment period been like?

Audrey Middleton – I’ve had nothing but overwhelming support. I’ve had so many young people reach out to me via social media who are saying that I touched their lives. Even though I lost ‘Big Brother’ I still feel like the biggest winner ever.

The show presented it to us that in the early going, you were really the closest to Shelli and Da’Vonne. Was that accurate?

I absolutely [was], until Da’Vonne said that she could never trust Shelli because Shelli was too close to Clay. Then I’m like ‘oh great, it’s been one day and you’re already having trust issues.’ As more people came in the house, the less time you spend together, and after you are in there for a little while the cliques start to form. There was just a gap between them, and it was hard to bring them back together. Part of the [reason] for bringing so many people up to that room … That was my intention.

You probably tried to call house meetings more than we’ve seen from most other players. Was your idea to get everything out in the open? It seemed like other times you would tell people something individually, and then it would travel around like a game of Telephone to where it was sometimes distorted.

Right. Calling house meetings simply nullified the effects of the telephone game. That was part of my thought process: I could get these people together, and we could squish it. But, it seems like the times that people came together, they did come together; they just came together against me! (Laughs.)

So what was going on with you and Clay? It seemed like he was one of the people really out to [evict you] more than anyone else. What was motivating him to do that?

To be honest, I think it’s because Clay knew I didn’t trust him like I trusted Shelli. After the aftermath of the first blowup, Shelli was really the only person who was going out of her way to show me kindness. She was kind of a voice for me when I was [against] almost everyone. This was the first time when I was laying down, playing dead, and just keeping to myself. She would bring me food, talk to me, talk game to me. Clay just kind of abandoned me and left me to die. I think once I kind of resurrected the first time, after that it was never the same as it was the first time because I was always going to be mistrusting of him. Because I was mistrusting of him, he was always going to feel like he couldn’t trust me.

What happened with you and Da’Vonne? Was that just a case of two strong personalities frequently clashing to the point where you really could not work together anymore?

I definitely think so. I think there were a lot of problem personalities in the house, and Da’Vonne was one of them … We both have really strong personalities.

I know you’re someone who has done a lot of online game-playing via ORGs. Is this something that influenced the way you played the game, and how aggressive you were in the game?

Absolutely. They are a lot quicker-paced and they’re online, and you can talk to multiple people at a time and not get caught. You’re also playing with so many other super-fans, so you are also constantly talking game or you are talking about the show. You are talking around a universe of strategy, and I definitely think that had an influence on me when I was in the house, and had to do with why I got too excited and went way too far way too fast.

Is there a certain pressure that comes with being such a big fan of the game to want to make moves? We’ve seen that so many times [on shows], even this season we had someone in Da’Vonne who was a huge fan coming in.

I think subconsciously I was like ‘you need to just chill, girl. Just breathe everything in, experience it like it was the real thing.’ Then the other part of me was like ‘you gotta go go go, there’s s**t to do. Hustle!’ I put a ridiculous amount of pressure on myself.

Also, the intensity that is in the house really builds up. There’s a word that we would use for it, it is FOMO and FOMI. Fear of Missing Out, and then Fear of Missing Information.

Do you think had you been able to make it through this past week, do you think you would’ve been in a good position and would have made it really far?

Absolutely. I definitely think that for these players, they were thinking about now and what was going to benefit them now. There was a frequent pattern of instability, not just with myself, but it was a thing among everyone and there are so many freaking alliances going on that people don’t remember which ones they are committed to. And so I feel like if Jason and Meg and James and Jackie and Steve, these outsiders, had utilized me and realized ‘Audrey is not really that much of a threat because she doesn’t have anyone right now and is the easiest person to target and that is someone we could use later on,’ I think if I would have just survived one or two more weeks I definitely would have made it the long haul.

I want to ask about some of the other players in the game. Shelli was on your side for a while and stood up for you at times, but she was the person to nominate you in the end. Will you have a good relationship with her when she gets out?

When she gets out I definitely think we will have a good relationship, but I did say before I left, I’m a ‘I told you so’ sort of person. I wouldn’t hold a grudge, but I did warn her, and what I told her about Vanessa is very true. If it plays out like I’m expecting…

Is there the capacity for someone like James to play well? He probably talked to you more than many people in there, and you did choose to tell him all of that information [about the other alliance]. Granted, he did go and tell that to everyone.

I don’t think so. I feel like James not thinking clearly, and he’s there to have a good time but not planning on staying a long time. I don’t think his attitude is aligned in the right way. He’s gotten too much Kool-Aid from Clay! He’s so drunk on his Kool-Aid, I don’t even know how many brain cells he has left.

What about Austin? Early on I thought he was playing well, but then everything happened with Liz and he seems almost obsessed now. Did you notice the change?

1000%. Austin has had his head so far up Liz’s bum, and it’s a beautiful bum! But when he came back out for air, he lost his brain somewhere in there and didn’t come back out with it. All he has left is his hormones, and that’s all he is playing the game with. Liz is operating those hormones. So good for her.

So what’s next for you now?

I’m just transitioning back into life. I hope in the future I get to meet and speak with a lot more transgender people and fans and talk about the game, and inspire and help anyone I can. This experience was bigger than myself. I did it for the money, but also to prove to myself that I can do something like this because in real life I’m actually very introverted. Me going on the show is totally radical to what I was doing before the show. I practically lived in a shell, and so I wanted to be able to prove that to myself, but to exemplify the same willingness and courage to others. So I hope to keep carrying on that torch, and being where that light guides me.

—

If you want to get some other “Big Brother” news, be sure to head over to the link here now! Also, you can sign up to score even more updates on just about everything we cover via our CarterMatt Newsletter. (Photo: CBS.)