‘America’s Got Talent’ rankings: No love for ‘Booty Song,’ but Forte, Marty Brown lead

July 29, 2013 5 comments
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America's Got TalentWelcome to “America’s Got Singers”! On this week’s edition of the show, we’re going to see a bunch of singers perform and get most of the votes, regardless of whether or not they are really that great … and we’re sure that there will be some other stuff in there that America ignores.

As much as we hate singing acts being on this show with them constantly getting promoted above everything else, the schedulers are just as much to blame for tomorrow night’s lineup as anyone. We had some good acts (Alexandria the Great!) that would have advanced were they thrown into here, and most of the non-singing acts just aren’t that interesting or popular with voters.

12. Tone the Chiefrocca – B-Double-O-T-Y! These guys will make us cry! But not in a good way. They will be camp entertainment, and will probably get a few sarcastic votes. But that is about it. We were tired of their song just hearing in on the show the couple of times that we did.

11. Dave Shirley – He’s a comedian, but his jokes are visual. When you consider that his audition involved dancing with a blow-up doll that became Howard Stern’s wife behind a screen, we can’t see this going particularly well in front of a live audience.

10. Brad Byers – Let’s be clear: Sword swallowing is amazingly cool, and also is an art form. It’s also something that America cares nothing about, and despite the talent here, he has not shot at all of going through.

9. Aquanauts – For a water act, we barely remember who these people are. The other issue is that there is always one or two swimming acts ever year, and forgive us for being skeptical that this one will do anything different.

8. Innovative Force – A terrible name, some cool gymnastics skills, but also a way too much air time. There just isn’t a universe in which we imagine seeing them suddenly rising to the occasion on the live show and blowing the world away.

7. Struck Boyz – Young dancers, which is always a huge turn-on to voters regardless of if they are very good, but much like many of tomorrow’s other acts, we barely remember them. This is going to end up being a pretty strange round if this keeps up.

6. Kid the Whiz – He can do some cool stuff, but being a solo dancer is hard. He will probably have to rely on a good intro package, and not messing up his routine if he wants to get through.

5. Alexandr Magala – He’s our favorite act of the bunch, but we foresee him going home this week anyway. It’s bizarre that we have him and Brad actually on the same show, since he is a sword swallower … who can also do pole tricks. He’s not a one-trick pony! We imagine that he will have something very cool to show off, but it won’t be enough to turn on squeamish viewers.

4. Ciena Pelekai – She is not the best singer in the competition, but Anna Christine gave a mediocre performance last week and went through. The kid votes are strong, and she may have a loyal voting block despite not a ton of airtime.

3. Angela Hoover – We give the impressionist here a slight edge, mostly based on the screen time that she’s had so far, and her story should appeal to voters, but the comedy has to be better this week; it was just okay during the auditions.

2. Marty Brown – He’s got a guitar, he’s from the south, he sings country, and he’s worked hard to get there. If this is not the perfect combination for him to get a billion votes, we don’t really know what is.

1. Forte – America’s Got Opera could be another great title for this show, given that these acts almost always advance to the semifinals as long as they don’t attempt anything crazy. These guys are actually incredibly strong, and they and Alexandr are probably the only acts tomorrow that going in, we actually have excitement to see.

In case you missed last week’s action, click here if you want to see who made it through, and what our impressions of the performers were for the night.

Photo: NBC

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