‘Survivor: Philippines’ review: Lisa Whelchel overload

If you watch the past two episodes of “Survivor: Philippines,” there is one thing producers want you to take out of it: Lisa Whelchel is the star of the season and an enormous part of this game. But is she really? This is meant as no offense to the former “Facts of Life” actress, but the more than the producers choose to shove her down our throats, the more that she has become unbearable to watch as a presence this season.

The biggest issue with her gameplay at the moment is that it is being made to look as though she is some gigantic mastermind here, when really she is not. What has she done since the merge, when you think about it? It was actually Skupin and not her who flipped to get rid of Artis, and they formed the final four alliance with Malcolm and Denise together. Watching her go back and forth about morality and what Jesus wants is just exhausting, especially since there are some other people in Denise and even (yes) Carter who deserve a little bit more story than they are receiving.

As a matter of fact, even Lisa’s “big move” of the night never went anywhere. After Malcolm won the reward challenge and invited Lisa’s brother, his own “knucklehead” brother, and Skupin’s son back to camp, she was convinced (as opposed to coming up with the idea herself) that Malcolm should be blindsided with the idol in his pocket. He won immunity later and we were deprived of what would have happened, but we’re not quite sure that Lisa would have flipped then, either. She seems to be a perfectly nice woman and you can relate to her story; but the sole notion of her as being this great player worthy of all this screentime is sapping the life out of what was until tonight a fantastic season.

Really, there is only one person to even talk about this week save for Lisa from a strategic point of view, mostly since Carter seemed perfectly willing to lay down on the sand, blend in (as he has done all season), and allow the bus driven by Skupin to drive right over him. Abi-Maria has still managed to find a way to survive for another week. She’s not a good player, and basically all she is doing here is being the female version of Brandon Hantz or Phillip Sheppard: a perfect goat to keep around for a while. It’s obviously that her “immunity idol” story is fake, and it has to be some sort of strange honor for her to say that being unlikable at this given moment is working to her advantage.

Can Abi find a way to last another week? Maybe if she wins immunity by some miracle again, since she’s going to otherwise have trouble. Regardless of what the previews show, we don’t think Lisa will break her word, and there is no incentive for Malcolm or Denise to take her to the end since they can probably beat either Skupin or Lisa in front of a jury, anyway. We may not like her, but she’s valuable as the only person still left stirring the pot.

Did you miss Penner this week like we did, and are you getting tired of having Lisa shoved down our throats? If you want to see where we thought the castaways stood before this episode, all you have to do is visit the story here.

Photo: CBS