The season finale of “The Bachelorette” is delivering on most of its typical promises to bring romance, drama, and tears in its final hours, and if you are a frequent viewer of it, we imagine that you’re prepared for the age-old regurgitation, which is the same thing you see every season.
1. The star’s parents and loved ones come out for a show-and-tell session with the remaining suitors. Sometimes they make their preference clear; other times they are ridiculously boring and don’t give you much one way or another. Eventually they go away; the seasons that are the most fun are the ones where the Bachelor / Bachelorette does the exact opposite of what the parents wanted them to do. (For JoJo Fletcher, the preference tonight seemed to be Robby Hayes at times over Jordan Rodgers.)
2. Neil Lane showing up like some diamond-toting James Bond to present a ring that JoJo may be able to keep, provided that the relationship lasts long enough. How many people really care about this segment? We feel like Jordan or Robby could just show up at the end and we’d be very much impressed.
3. Individual dates, which are mostly opportunities to see these people kiss to hokey music while wearing very little clothing. At times there’ll be minor arguments and tokens of appreciation given out.
Basically, this is all a template, and tonight followed that with Jordan and Robby. So, who did she actually choose in the few relevant moments at the end of the show? Stay tuned…
Update: Well, Robby was the first person to show up, which is show code for “toast.” We almost wonder if a guy knows he’s getting rejected if he turns up and it still feels early in the day. We almost wish that he’d throw down a smoke bomb and disappear, but this is Robby, not going to happen. There’s a chance you may forget him quickly if he is not on “Bachelor in Paradise” anytime soon.
Also, why do you say “I wanted it to be you” to a guy minutes later before you’re happy and giddy over it actually being someone else? This is like getting really upset when someone hits you in the face with a snowball, and you pelting someone else with about 400 of them with a happy look on your face.
Eventually Jordan came out (slightly better suit game than Robby and his bubble-gum tie), and he did give JoJo the proposal and suddenly everything was okay. No real drama, nothing here of note other than SOARING ROMANCE AND RIDICULOUS ORCHESTRA SCORE. Sorry, gotta calm down.
So yeah, Jordan and JoJo are engaged, congratulations and all that. Hopefully something more happens during the “After the Final Rose.”
Want more coverage on “The Bachelorette” finale? Then head over here, or sign up over at this link to secure some other TV news on all we cover, sent right over to you via our official CarterMatt Newsletter. (Photo: ABC.)