‘Sing Your Face Off’ review: Landry Fields, Lisa Rinna, Sebastian Bach star in more insanity

There are many mysteries that are currently at our feet when it comes to ABC’s new series “Sing Your Face Off,” with the major one being how the network expects anyone to watch a two-hour singing competition on Saturday nights. The show is completely bonkers, from the level of seriousness at times to Debbie Gibson acting like Michael Jackson is channeling a child’s body for a performance of “Rockin’ Robin.”

We’d go through the entire list of performances during the first part of this episode like we do with most singing competitions … but why bother? We don’t feel like anyone takes this seriously enough for that. Instead, let’s just try to give you some assorted notes from this crazy evening as time progresses.

• The Sebastian Bach – Willie Nelson package literally proved to us that there literally can be an attempt at an emotional performance at the same time that John Barrowman (bless his heart) talks about him entering the “face lift.” Also, Sebastian brought a guitar out and didn’t bother really playing it. Instead, it was more like Sebastian singing in a Willie Nelson outfit.
• THERE WERE ACTUALLY SWAYBOYS. Can you imagine what the warm-up comic for this show was telling them in order to get this to happen?
• Landry Fields has serious abs. We’re surprised that he hasn’t been ordered to be half-naked for the majority of his performances.
• Jon Lovitz singing as Billy Idol was completely insane, mostly because about half of the song consisted of him mumbling.
• At the end of round 1 tonight, Sebastian and Lisa were in danger of going home … which may or may not be a respite from all this.

Let’s take a breather here before we get into episode 2, since that is when things literally get crazy.

• Someone apparently didn’t tell Barrowman in production that these episodes are actually airing back to back … the “last week” stuff makes this all the more nutty.
• The moment we saw Richard Simmons as a judge, we almost died. We’re not sure that it was out of excitement or humiliation.
• The points were doubled for some reason, maybe because this show needed more intensity? Really?
• After watching Landry Fields perform as Nicki Minaj, we’re pretty sure that he will never be taken seriously in anything ever again. IT EVEN HORRIFIED RICHARD SIMMONS.
• Someone got Jon Lovitz a choir for his Meat Loaf number, which convinced us that this show is running on a budget.
• Remember when people liked Justin Bieber with this haircut? Well, the headlines from this week changed that.
• When it was revealed at the end of the show that the fate of Jon and Sebastian tied at the bottom and the “experts” (cough) had to vote for who they wanted to see stay, this got even more awkward. Of course Jon was saved! You’ve got another “Saturday Night Live” cast member over there, and it’s much more of a trainwreck watching him move around. Goodbye, Sebastian.

So in the end, THAT happened. No other way to describe it. The show is a trainwreck, but we guess it is a reasonably fun trainwreck. Grade: C (so far, maybe it’ll change … or not, since this is pretty locked in by now).

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Photo: ABC