‘All-Star Celebrity Apprentice’ rankings: Is this Trace Adkins’ show to lose?

We went into Sunday night’s “All-Star Celebrity Apprentice” premiere worried as to whether or not this show could work; and now, we want to smack ourselves across the head for ever being skeptical at all. This is entertainment in every sense of the word! The show is just as ridiculous and over-the-top as ever, and while it is pretty obvious that fairness and even logic is not always a part of the equation, we are also pretty sure that it does not always need to be.

With this in mind, we have a pretty unique ranking system for this show that we don’t always use for some of the others, as we consider everything from gameplay to edit, entertainment value, and possible Trump bias into the equation. (While he denied it when Brande Roderick explained that this was the reason why she left Omarosa out of the boardroom, we’re still skeptical.)

Now, if only we could come up with a crazy acronym for this. Someone call Gary Busey!

The “have no shot at winning” club

13. Dee Snider – He’s not one of the bigger celebrities on the show, and thus he is not a Trump or production favorite. We also don’t really know why he’s back given that there were some other big characters. On the flip side he is competent, but one week outing by Dee and he’s a goner.

12. Claudia Jordan – Alas, we feel similarly to Claudia. Trump obviously liked her enough to bring her back even when no one else knows who she is, but he likes to have big names make it far.

11. Stephen Baldwin – Come on, you know that Stephen was just brought back to fill a spot and to be his typical bizarre self. Have you ever anyone be so proud over not raising any money at all?

The “here for entertainment only” club

10. La Toya Jackson – Trump loves La Toya so much this is technically her third time in the game … but he has someone he likes just a little bit more in this group in Omarosa who will stick around longer.

9. Gary Busey – Gary is here to get air time for a few weeks, say some crazy things, and make Trump feel better about himself. He’ll be gone before it is time to do anything with substance on this show.

8. Dennis Rodman – A great redemption story, and had Trump known that he was going to get headlines for going to North Korea back when this taped, he’d probably be in the finale.

7. Omarosa – We predict that Omarosa will finish in around the same exact spot as she has the last two seasons: she’ll make it pretty far in the competition, but go somewhere between eighth and sixth.

The “strong, but not strong enough” club

6. Brande Roderick – Despite being a subpar leader during the fundraising challenge, Brande is still pretty competent and knows how to be a team player. This should help her for a while.

5. Lisa Rinna – She probably had more to give the first time she was on the show, so she’s a little bit quieter of a redemption story this season. Expect to see Lisa as a darkhorse to go very far.

4. Lil Jon – There was a part of us that legitimately thought that Lil Jon should have squared off against John Rich back when these two were a powerful pair on the show, but that just didn’t happen. We know he’s a very smart and creative guy, but we’re still not really sure Donald knows who he is.

The “likely winners” club

3. Penn Jillette – Very smart, very creative, and there is no Clay Aiken here this time for him to fight with. You know that Penn is probably going to go very far.

2. Marilu Henner – She’s probably one of the smarter businesswomen on this season, and she also knows how to keep her emotions in check and focus on the end goal. We don’t see her being a huge character, but she is a silent threat to go far.

1. Trace Adkins – Trace killed in the first challenge, and really erased the fundraising issues that may have cost him the win during the celebrity show’s first season. We know that he is likable, a team player, and he will work very hard. All of this to us suggests that Trace will be a winner come the finale in May.

Who are you rooting for right now on “All-Star Celebrity Apprentice”? We want to hear from you below, and you can read what Bret Michaels had to say about his firing here.

Photo: NBC