‘The Bachelorette’ review: Brooks Forester and Desiree Hartsock’s flood of tears

BrooksFive minutes into tonight’s episode of “The Bachelorette,” we had the words “fairytale” uttered multiple times, constant reminders that James Case is a horrible person, and also not a single second of footage that actually mattered for this season. That’s right: We are getting near the finale of the season. ABC really should consider making these later episodes less than two hours to make them interesting, but they don’t. Why is that? They love ratings!

We know that you really just want to get to what happened with Brooks Forester. We do. But like the show, we’re going to torment you by going through the less interesting stuff first.

Drew’s date – Is there anything even remotely interesting that happened here? In a word, no. It was duller than the ends of Drew’s gelled-up hair. He’s just not the most engaging guy, which is why it could be difficult if he is chosen as the next “Bachelor.” There was a date, a fantasy suite, and some rain. Actually, the rain was the most interesting thing about this date.

Chris’ date – Dear Chris, we say this to you kindly, and even as a published poet: No more poems! It’s too much, just like this entire show is too much. This episode is like being stuck on an airplane next to two people who are trying to find a way to get to second base without anyone around them noticing. You feel uncomfortable for watching, and there’s no hope of it stopping.

The other uncomfortable moment was how many times Chris stressed the word “relaxing,” like he was desperately trying to tell the camera that he wasn’t going to do anything dirty.

The Brooks debacle – All episode long, they set us up for a devastating fall. Desiree said that she wanted to marry Brooks and was “in love” with him, and then you have him telling his family that he’s not sure. He basically tried as hard as possible during this whole ordeal to say that he was not in love with her without coming across as a d-bag in the process.

We don’t think that Brooks is an awful guy, and maybe he thought that over time his feelings would change. But they didn’t, and thus he had to have a sit-down confrontation with her about it.

In a sense, we understand Desiree’s cavalcade of tears on the subject, feeling that Brooks was her guy, and they were going to run off into the sunset forever, but to say that she hasn’t had reciprocation of her feelings is somewhat insane given that she has two guys who would probably fall on their own swords for her at this point. What are they now, chopped liver? In a way, the level of honesty on Desiree’s part is rather refreshing, since there were a few interesting moments of production talk thrown in here about how she is forced more or less forced to go on dates with other men.

This all led to the two parties seemingly going their separate ways, and Brooks having his much-hyped meltdown in the forest where he proclaimed that this was “the worst day of my life” in a way that sounded a lot like Napoleon Dynamite. He’s left, she’s supposedly over the show, and the mystery now remains as to what happens next.

If you want to see some more news on this crazy-dramatic situation, and also see some more news related to the next “Bachelor” and who could end up earning the role, take a look at the link here.

Photo: ABC

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