‘Dancing with the Stars: All-Stars’ review: Why did Melissa Rycroft tear up?

Do you want to see some of the strangest routines imaginable on “Dancing with the Stars”? Well, this week surely had them. For whatever reason, the show thought it would be funny to create random themes for the first half of the show with difficult choreography, and this part of the show was, at its best moments, a beautiful mess. (It was at least entertaining.)

As for the second half, the dancers really managed to shine in a tribute to the legendary Michael Jackson, which means that just about every major reality show out there has officially given the King of Pop his due.

Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani

Caveman Hustle – Wait … since when is the “Caveman Hustle” an actual type of dance? The idea to introduce new styles into the show is a good one, but not when they are ideas that Bruno Tonioli probably made up while he was mocking someone else’s dancing skills. The dance actually felt a good bit like a cha-chap, and was rather good despite being one of the strangest things ever put out on the ballroom floor. Plus, there were dinosaurs! Score: 27.5

Argentine Tango – This is what Melissa can do when she has a proper routine! Tony needs to get some credit for the best-choreographed tango quite possibly in the history of the show. There were tears everywhere by the time it was over, and it is one of those rare routines where you can actually say nothing negative about at all. Score: 30

Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough

Indian Folk Dance – Never again will you see a dance themed around a Bollywood version of “Knight Rider” … and if by some reason you happen to, never again will you see a dance that is this good. Congratulations to Shawn and Derek, who clearly put their all into this excellent performance that finally put the Olympian out of breath for the first time all season. Score: 30

Argentine Tango – Set to Michael Jackson’s “Bad,” this was surprisingly fun. Was it a little disconnected? Probably, but it was something that did not really show up so much in the judges’ scores. This Michael Jackson tribute is definitely reaping some major rewards for these celebrities so far. Score: 29

Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina Smirnoff

Jazz Bigtop – This is almost as random of a routine as the Caveman Shuffle from earlier, but it was at least something that Apolo and Karina could do something for. Technically, we are more on Team Bruno and Team Carrie Ann Inaba in that there was only one major flaw here, and the rest was the sort of cool circus act that you would want to watch with a bucket of popcorn in your hand. Score: 27

Rumba – Apolo had the comeback of the night here with a soft, emotional performance that did not force him to do much, but he really didn’t need to. So much on this show we see contestants try to force emotion or choreography. This just felt natural, and we commend both parties here for it. Score: 30

Emmit Smith and Cheryl Burke

Espionage / Lindy Hop – This was a tough dance for Emmitt, since the fast pace of this dance really takes away some of the natural charm that he exudes, and thus the judges are really forced to focus more on the actual dancing … which Emmitt is probably the weakest at in the competition. Score: 27

Tango – There was just something about this performance that seemed awkward, almost like they were pretending to get along more so than they really are off of the dance floor. It’s pretty clear now that if this was based on dancing alone, Emmitt would probably go home this week. But, the guy has already proven to be a voting superstar. Score: 27

Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy

Surfer Flamenco – Yes, because surfers do the Flamenco all of the time, Kelly had an opportunity to slide around the stage in a skimpy swimsuit alongside Val. Was there heat? Sure, but it really just felt like a paso doble, and it was a technical mess that only grew worse as the dance went on. Score: 25.5

Rumba – There was indeed plenty of romance here, and it was far better than the swimsuit routine from earlier that was far too cheesy from its own good. Does anyone else think that the chemistry between these two is one of the reasons that they are getting so many votes now? Score: 28.5

Who was your favorite on this week’s show?

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