‘The X Factor’ USA review: Meet Second Hand High, Lorie Moore, Emery Kelly, and more

The latest -We really wanted to be nice to ‘The X Factor” this season. We’ve liked the contestants at times over the years, and the judges all seem to be nice people, but after sitting through this show for three weeks now and watching the much-superior premiere of “The Voice” this week, we just can’t anymore. This show has nosedived into insufferable levels.

For example, take Mario Lopez reminding us nearly EVERY TEN MINUTES that the contestants are in categories this year, while showing us the stupid graphic of the contestants outside in the shape of an X. It’s as though the show has never done this before. Add to this the massive time-wasting on bad contestants, Simon Cowell not even showing up for all the auditions, the show’s go-to music being the same (i.e. “Fix You”) every time we have a sappy story that goes through, and the complete refusal to do anything other than take yourself super-seriously, and you basically have a show that is a chore to watch. We don’t even think that Mario Lopez bothered to show up to all of the auditions.

We’re doing something different tonight, mostly because we¬†can’t deal with those bad contestants anymore (including those two that are engaged), so we are focusing on who is good. Simon Cowell needs to actually listen to some of the genuine criticism out there.

Emery Kelly – In an effort to actually spare ourselves some real sanity this week, we are here to say that Emery is probably the first contestant of the night that was reasonably impressive.

Khaya Cohen – Compared to the singers on other shows, she is mostly just okay. Our general sentiment is that if you need a second song to prove you’re amazing, you are probably not going to win this show. CeCe Frey was probably one of the few exceptions of one that made it far, but she was there more for entertainment than anything else.

Tim Olstad – This guy’s entire story is “nerves,” but it was almost perfectly appropriate that he sang a song about having uncertainty in “A Thousand Years” when he was constantly on the verge of going into the fetal position. Now, he just needs to think of something a little more exciting to tell the judges about.

James Kenney – Remember him? He made it pretty far during season 1, and he’s back now to show that he has improved. The good news? He has, and there is a chance that he could make some waves in the live shows thanks to his story.

Wesley Mountain – First of all, this name is sweet. Wesley freakin’ Mountain? Add to that his soul / country roots and he’s almost like Willie Jones without the same level of country cheese. Then again, he’s just as cheesy personality-wise courtesy of his somewhat-creepy obsession with Kelly Rowland. Dude seems like top 40 cannon fodder more so than serious contender.

Celine Polenghi – Calling it now: Celine gets put into a manufactured girlband. She didn’t get a huge story, but she was shown for a reason.

Bree Randall – She was not nearly as good as the show tried to make her out to be. She had swagger, but not really any vocal range or technique at all.

Summer Reign – Now, let’s talk awesome names. Seriously. This is her name. She should just make all of her album titles self-titled if she ever gets a deal.

Rickey Clark Jr. – The dude has some good dance moves, and understands that there is an audience there to be entertained.

Lorie Moore – We’ll be honest here and say that we were almost positive that Lorie was going to be terrible. Anyone who shows up in a football jersey is usually questionable. There’s a ton of competition in the Overs category, and she has a voice. We just can’t take her seriously in that jersey.

Second Hand High – These two were basically liked the “BOOTY” guys from “America’s Got Talent, except slightly less talented. One of them also sounded a little bit like Ke$ha, and we had Kelly Rowland twerking all over Simon. It was at least mildly entertaining, but not good. They are the only bad act that we mentioned here, and they were at least worth this since the “You’re Gonna Ask Me to Dance” song was memorable.

Do you have a favorite on “The X Factor” tonight, and do you agree that Simon has completely botched so much of this series now that it is beyond repair? We want to hear from you below! Meanwhile, click here if you are curious to find out some more details about what is coming up next week.

Photo: Fox

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