“Survivor” is back in action! The newest season in “South Pacific” has premiered, and as a result we are back in action with our offbeat analysis of one of the most addicting shows on TV.
This episode re-introduced us to Ozzy (arguably the most emotionless contestant of all time — why is he playing again?) and Coach (the most epic contestant of all time), and we also met plenty of other people:
-Cochran: The token geek of this season — with a touch of misogyny!
-Dawn: Crying on day one, she’s probably going to pull a Holly from “Nicaragua” and stay around for a while.
-Rick: His mustache is like an extra tribe member!
-Brandon: Sooner or later, someone is going to get this dude to take off his shirt.
Rather than go blow-by-blow for this episode (since let’s face it, you probably watched it already), let’s look instead at the major winners and losers from the premiere. Ultimately, though, so many people were almost invisible (see Whitney and Keith) were invisible that it’s hard to consider them much of anything.
-Papa Bear: Despite being the oldest man on his tribe, the guy managed to be so endearing that his name was never even brought up after Ozzy’s tribe of Savaii lost the first immunity challenge. If he doesn’t get injured, he could be around a while.
-Cochran: The only reason he’s on here is because he’s still in the game. The guy is completely out of his mind in some way, but you have to love the fact that he is so passionate about the game.
-Coach / Ozzy: Ultimately, you have to give both veterans some credit. Coach is a bit luckier when it comes to winning the immunity challenge and avoiding the target — mainly because he could have gone home otherwise.
-Christine: Didn’t this lady watch “Redemption Island” last season? Being out looking for idols early is suspicious — and now her target is the size of Samoa for no reason.
-Brandon: Watching this guy wander around with a shirt half on in the water is ridiculous. He really should have considered just telling people his last name than put himself through this, since people are already starting to not trust him.
-Semhar: Obviously, you have to put her on here since she went to Redemption Island. She did have a reason to be upset at Jim for his attitude towards her, but you also have to know when to be quiet.
-Jim: He’s arrogant, and he showed it in this episode. If this guy keeps this up, he’s not going to be gone for long.
Who do you think were the standout players from the premiere?