‘Big Brother 13’ live feed spoilers: the fortune-teller speaks!

What’s going on now?

For pretty much this entire season of “Big Brother,” there has been a mystery surrounding the fortune-teller. It has sat in its rather creepy position in the house since the very beginning, and we saw Shelly last week trying to take it apart in order to find some sort of “special power.”

Now, the fortune-teller finally has a purpose — and it is an important one.

(Warning: the following contains spoilers.)

Late last night, the fortune-teller spoke (and terrified Porsche) for the first time, and proceeded to rattle off some of the following fortunes over the course of several hours:

-In 2018, Shelly will make millions when her book ‘How I Created the Perfect Tan and How You Tan Too’ reaches #3 on the All Time Best Seller List

-In 2017, after the hot Miami sun becomes too much for her too bear, Porsche will move to Anchorage, Alaska and buy an igloo with an eskimo named Ernie.

-In 2014, Jeff will disappear from society. He will be last seen wandering the Chicago streets muttering two words: Clown Shoe.

-On October 15, 2011 at 3:42pm, Daniele will reconcile with her father Dick.  On October 15, 2011 at 3:49pm, they will go back to not speaking.

-In 2014, after sleeping for 19 straight days and making national headlines in sleep study. Kalia will earn her dream job as a mattress and pillow-tester.

-In 2016, Lawon will take New York Fashion Week by storm when he launches his handsom-ified line of hats, ties and jackets.

-After taking 9 years to earn his Ph.D, Brendan will shock scholars and physicians alike after discovering an ailment that plagued him his entire life: athlete’s foot.

-In 2020, Adam will file for bankruptcy after investing his life saving into a line of bacon scented, heavy metal teddy bears for children.

-In 2018, Rachel will give birth to a 9 pound 6 ounce bouncing baby boy, naming it Bookie Jr. after its proud father.

-In 2012, Cassi will land a role alongside international megastar David Hasselhoff in the countrified Baywatch reboot: Riverwatch.

-In 2013, Dominic will grace the cover of Seventeen magazine with the headline Total Domination. He’ll dethrone pop sensation Justin Bieber as America’s favorite heartthrob.

-In 2015, Keith will land a job hosting a new dating show called Love Rejection but it will be short lived after its revealed he tried to date all 29 female contestants.

-In 2011 after the runaway success of the Humilitard, Jordan will launch a line of Humilitard inspired items, including the Humilicar, the Humilifier and Humili-Bake Oven.

Who do you think will be the best and remembering these fortunes?

Photo: CBS

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