Welcome to our first “America’s Got Talent” results show! Nick Cannon showed up in a ridiculous suit that made him look like a rebellious blueberry, Howie Mandel decided to wear a hat and pretend he is not bald, and Howard Stern wasted no time at all getting obnoxious.
Yes, there were results in the middle of all this, but they were in a word predictable. We present you the results in the order in which they were announced during the show, and unlike the show, you don’t have to watch a performance by will.i.am or a product placement montage involving Snapple and New York pizza in the middle of it.
Nikki Jensen – She was okay on the show Monday night, but considering that Howie Mandel forgot her name on “The Today Show” Tuesday morning, it didn’t bode well.
Michael Nejad – We know he had no change. The guy played a vacuum. Enough said.
Advancing: Shanice and Maurice Hayes. Was there really any question that the most overrated act of the night would advance? They have a cute story and are okay singers, but we really didn’t think their harmonies were all that solid at all.
Lil’ Starr – If this was a elementary school talent competition, she would win — but this is for a million bucks. Sorry, star.
787 Crew – We feel a bit silly for ranking them #1 among this group before Monday night’s show — even though we still find them brilliant, they were a bit of a letdown for a performance that felt too similar to the others they have done.
Advancing: The Scott Brothers. From their shoes to the top of their cheesy outfits, these two guys bleed entertainment. With that being said, does this show really need to continue its awkward pauses before Nick reads the result?
The American BMX Stunt Team – They are a good stunt team, but we have seen a million stunt teams on this show before.
Jarrett & Raja – These guys were not great, but they didn’t deserve to be booed during their performance. After all, weren’t they better than Lil’ Starr?
Advancing: David Garibaldi and His CYMKs. This was not even remotely a surprise. They were the best act on the night — though we wouldn’t be stunned to see Jarrett & Raja or the stunt team on the wild card show.
Group four (the judges’ pick)
Distinguished Men of Brass – They went first on the show, and that led to them placing in third among this group.
Todd Oliver – He does have a pretty good act, but his material is not as good as his idea. You can already take a talking dog so far.
Advancing: Edon. We are thrilled by this choice. While we don’t necessarily love singers advancing on this competition, we still argue that he is better than just about anyone else. This is enough to potentially get him for another round or two so long as he picks songs that showcase his voice.
Do you think America and the judges got it right? Be sure to share your thoughts below, and check out some more of the latest “America’s Got Talent” news.