‘The Bachelorette’ review: Arie Luyendyk Jr. soars, Ryan Bowers flops

Ryan had a rather bad night.

There are some things we will never understand about “The Bachelorette,” and we saw them all during Monday night’s new episode:

1. Product placement for a Scottish movie in Croatia.

2. A guy getting a medal for doing terrible in a physical challenge.

3. A guy so arrogant that he really was just on this show to win. If you wanted to win a reality show, why don’t you go on “Survivor” instead?

Before we dive too far into the sad case of Ryan Bowers, let’s look at what else Emily Maynard had going on during Monday night’s episode.

One-on-one date (Travis) – Did anyone else think that this date was a bit of a foregone conclusion? It seemed pretty obvious from the get-go that Mr. Eggman (as we prefer to call him) was not going to last in the competition much longer. We didn’t really see much of him with Emily before this date, and she gave him the “we could be great friends” explanation when sent out the door.

The group date (Arie, Jef, Sean, John, Doug, and Chris) – Since ABC is owned by Disney, it seemed appropriate for the men to all screen the newest Pixar movie “Brave” — especially since they will be watching plenty of kids’ movies with Emily and her daughter Ricki.

What made a little less sense? Having to watch the guys perform the Highland Games (which are a less deadly version of the Hunger Games, apparently) wearing kilts … in Dubrovnik. This is like going to England to see Roman gladiators fight.  Despite Sean completely owning everyone courtesy of his massive muscles, Chris ended up getting the group date rose. Hey, Doug at least got an award for being terrible at the games … though it wasn’t a rose.

One-on-one date (Ryan) – This is where things got interesting. Ryan made some elaborate top-ten list of reasons why he and Emily worked together, and then she decided to send him home when her #1 (loving family) was not a part of his list. However, we quickly learned that Ryan does not take no for an answer! He pretty much became a hot mess and begged for his life, but it didn’t matter. Ryan took off, and it led to the line of the night from Arie Luyendyk Jr.: “If Ryan is the new ‘Bachelor,’ then the new ‘Bachelorette‘ is going to be a mirror.”

This is where things got a little bit interesting. Arie had decided in advance to be Emily’s knight in shining armor, and was planning to warning Emily about Ryan’s arrogant and hope to be the next lead on the franchise. Since she had already sent him home, it was more or less just a love-fest. Emily decided to give him the rose meant for Ryan, and told him to keep it a secret.

The rose ceremony – Now that the guys are all out of their kilts, the pressure was truly on … sort of. In a rare moment for the show, Emily really didn’t send anyone home — mostly because she was too busy doing it over the course of the entire episode. Doug is the only person who seems especially on thin ice, though we really still don’t know about John. For a guy with a nickname of “Wolf,” this guy has yet to do much in the way of howling.

While Arie was the MVP of this episode, next week things are going to truly hit the fan — his past relationship with producer Cassie Lambert is going to come to the surface and Emily is not too happy that no one told her.  Anyone ready for a scandal?

What do you think about some of Emily’s moves this week, and would you ever wear a kilt while wandering around the streets of Croatia?

Photo: ABC

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