‘Hell’s Kitchen’ premiere review: Cooking up trouble

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Watching “Hell’s Kitchen” is almost akin to watching a guy eat a 5-pound steak in one hour — you know it’s probably not going to end well, but for whatever reason you can’t bring yourself to look away. There’s something comfortable about the disasters seen on screen here — just in the first five minutes we had three contestants swear during confessionals, saw two fake contestants shave their heads as a way to mess with the chefs’ heads, and watched Gordon Ramsay proclaim yet again that this season may be the most important one ever. Yes, the winner is going to be the Head Chef (whatever that means) at Gordon Ramsay Steak in Las Vegas — but this is not the first time that Ramsay has placed one of these people at a restaurant of his. It’s all so familiar, and also so much fun.

What ended up unfolded during this episode was an hour of pure entertainment, even if a good many of these chefs ended up embarrassing themselves royally. We had a 22-year old executive chef (Tavon) who couldn’t really do much of anything, another guy (Don) who is the definition of “chicken with his head cut off” in the kitchen, and also a heavy gentleman (Clemenza) who we were convinced was about to drop dead as Chef Ramsay was tasting the specialty dishes during the first part of the episode.

As if the last paragraph didn’t give it away, the men are atrocious this season — and this is without even including the former Israeli drill sergeant (Guy) that may be punching who we think might be this season’s winner of the blame game (Royce) in the face next week after he tried to throw him under the bus. The only guy who’s really likable so far is Brian, and that may just be because he whistles while he works. The women are so going to cream these guys if this keeps up — even with Briana, who could very well double as Gwyneth Paltrow’s younger sister, almost forgetting what they were serving for dinner.

How bad was this dinner service? Let’s just say that the men did not successfully plate a single appetizer. Not one. It may be the most pathetic showing in “Hell’s Kitchen” history. The women were not much better, but at least they made it to the entrees. While Ramsay has a tendency to keep some bad chef around for an inexplicably long period of time, he also does not like boring chefs. So when you are bad and boring, it’s pretty much a recipe for disaster. With that in mind, it was not even remotely a shock to see Tavon go — he had no competitive fight to him whatsoever, and Mr. 22-year-old chef was even laughing in the kitchen like he really wasn’t even that interested in being there. (We’re sure that’s probably not the case, but show some passion!)

What did you think of the premiere, and who are you rooting for at this early stage?

Photo: Fox

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