‘The Celebrity Apprentice’: Three hours of Aubrey O’Day talking

She’s never quiet.

There was a lot of “The Celebrity Apprentice” on Sunday night — so much so that we are not sure everyone out there could handle this much crazy. Do you have your popcorn? We have two challenges to get through, so here we go!

Task #1 – A misguided guidebook

We are still a little bit confused as to what exactly the first challenge of the evening was really about. You were supposed to make a guidebook, and then sell them for charity. Why would you worry about making your guidebook good, when you can just sell one for a million bucks and win the entire competition? The only real benefit in making your book look good is getting the opportunity to have it be praised by Regis Philbin for an additional cash prize.

This is what we were worried about from the get-go when it came to the women (led by Teresa Giudice) this week. The “Real Housewife” was really the only person who was focusing on fundraising, while everyone else concentrated their effort into actually making their book look good — at least in the beginning.

Really, this is why the men ended up winning this task under Dee Snider’s advice — despite some pretty big mistakes in the process. Arsenio Hall failed to raise a single dollar thanks to his check from Jay Leno arriving late, and Penn Jillette’s Blue Man Group stunt ended up being a disaster when their decision to burst a balloon full of money led to a near-riot in the New York City streets.

So who was really to blame for the women still losing? Aubrey O’Day raised the least amount of money, and there was an easy reason for Teresa to bring her into the boardroom. However, she decided instead to bring in two people instead who just rubbed her the wrong way (and, in her words, she had to “babysit”) — Debbie Gibson and Dayana Mendoza, who spent most of the episode getting screamed at by Lisa Lampanelli over how annoying she was during the book design.

We seriously thought that Donald Trump would send Teresa packing at the end of this simply for not bringing in Aubrey, but to her credit she did a solid job actually defending herself by saying that this was a fundraising task, and she at least did her part. In the end, Debbie actually was sent packing for being the lease successful of the three in the room — and with that, Dayana became the Gary Busey of the women’s team in how she stays despite all of her teammates wanting her out. (At least she’s not making acronyms out of everyday words.)

Good luck, Arsenio.

Task #2 – A switch!

Before we even get to the task, let’s focus on some of the changes (and there were many) to the teams. Aubrey and Teresa joined Arsenio, Clay Aiken, and Paul Teutul; meanwhile, the remaining contestants were all placed on what may be the stronger team on the surface. After all, this group has creation masters in Penn and Lisa.

Unfortunately, this latter team had Lou Ferrigno as a Project Manager in a task that revolved around a presentation with Walgreens to promote fitness. Meanwhile, Arsenio finally took over as the PM for the task — though at times, you wouldn’t really know it. The biggest issue from the get-go with Team Arsenio? Aubrey O’Day. As she has done time and time again on this season, she tried to dominate the show, make all the decisions, and even spout of awful comments including one of the nastiest lines we’ve ever heard about Arsenio not being much of a star anymore. You could see the steam pouring out through the guy’s ears as he promised himself that he would not blow a gasket.

Going into the presentation, the two teams seemed evenly matched. While Arsenio’s team was clearly dysfunctional, Lou decided that he wanted to be the speaker for this team despite having an impairment that makes him difficult to understand. Is his story about finding the joy in walking after knee-replacement surgery touching? Sure, but why couldn’t someone else talk about this? The good news is that Lou at least did a good job in staying on the script and working to motivate the audience. Really, their only major obvious error came courtesy of Penn, who accidentally said the wrong name in the middle of his speech — but then, we learned after the fact that executives did not like Dee’s box design or some of the words written on the back wall. (In Penn’s defense he was on little sleep after flying in from a brief gig in Toronto.) Arsenio’s speech, meanwhile, was themed around a game show, and the biggest problem here was that there was too much information and not enough fun.

We really weren’t too enthused about the actual task (mostly because there is only so much you can have fun while talking about walking), but the boardroom was pretty much the equivalent of a firecracker exploding all over Trump Tower. Arsenio was relentless for going after Aubrey, pointing out how she was trying to take credit for everything and detracting from the rest of the tea. It may be one of the best takedowns in show history next to Piers Morgan destroying Omarosa, and despite Arsenio’s team actually winning, Aubrey decided to pout and take infamous elevator downstairs. Did this mean that she was done with the show?

Before we even get to the issue of Aubrey walking out, we got to see Lisa being completely irrational and wanting to send Dayana into the boardroom for no good reason — even though Lisa is not even the Project Manager. Lou’s decision was to bring back Dayana as well as Dee, who he said tried to take over the task a bit too much for his liking.

There was actually a bit of irony when it came to the elimination this week. Dee Snider was the one person in that room who was not a frequent target for elimination, and he was the one fired — meanwhile, Lou and Dayana live to see another day (again). Did Trump make the right decision? Not really — while Dayana actually seemed to do a great job this time, Lou has seemed to just scrape by time and time again even when he does some things wrong.

As for Aubrey, the show really didn’t even bother to address what happened with her — instead, they (in a rather annoying move) decided to keep it a secret until next week.

Overall, this was one of the craziest three hours of the show we’ve seen. It wasn’t always incredible, but the final thirty minutes was so strong it made up for all of the rest.

What did you think about this week’s super-sized episode, and would you ever watch three hours of this madness again?

Photo: NBC

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