‘Survivor: One World’: a comedy of errors

If at first you don’t succeed…

Before we get too deep into any particular analysis of the winners and loser from this week’s edition of “Survivor: One World,” we have to pose a question to anyone out there even vaguely considering doing this game — don’t make your alliances on the way to camp. Just don’t. It’s silly, and you end up gutting your tribe down to the point where you are not even useful anymore. ┬áIf you do make this mistake and you find a better opportunity at an alliance later … take it! Establish yourself a group that will make it to the merge rather than just one that will flame out because your tribe is too weak to do anything else.

So far, the female tribe in Salani is doing its best to try and overtake Ulong from “Palau” as the master of “Survivor” futility — they have lost three straight challenges, failed to have any sort of order, have no one with an immunity idol, and really don’t have too many people there willing to actually play the game minus three or four castaways.

So are there any real winners on this tribe? Surprisingly, there are some of these ladies who we think can save themselves — and we’re still sticking by our prediction that one of them will win.

The winners

Kim – We are not backing off our prediction that Kim is going to win this game, and we were reminded why yet again this week — she seems to be smart enough to keep herself from getting intro drama, but (as she showed with ushering Colton away from the female camp) she is able to deal with problems in a way that is inoffensive. While Kim didn’t (sadly) take advantage of an opportunity to change up the game and get rid of a relatively useless Kat, she is establishing herself as a sane player on a tribe where many people are running around crazy.

Sabrina and Chelsea – Also in this camp, we have these two ladies who know how to compete, how to run camp, and seemingly how to play this game. Sabrina is impressing us especially in trying to lead — and doing so in a way that doesn’t put a target on her back. If these two women along with Kim make it to the merge, they could be dangerous in recruiting the men to join a few alliances here or there.

Colton – We are torn on Colton still in many ways — with the primary one of which being a problem that we are having with many castaways this season. Are they there to play the game, or to just lounge around, complain, and develop an alliance that requires little work? Colton may quite possibly be the most undeserving holder of an immunity idol ever — the only reason he received it was because he isolated himself from his tribe. Now, his isolation is annoying the women who have to deal with him.

So why is Colton still a winner? We really have a rather simple answer — he was smart enough to make an alliance with his idol. Even though Colton may come across as stubborn and at times lazy, we will give him credit for having his mind in the right place when it comes to numbers. Unfortunately, we already feel for Colton and his “misfit alliance” of Troyzan, Tarzan, Jonas, and Leif — mostly because he’s going to part ways with them later in the game simply because they are not women. With that being said, though, he personally now has himself in a good position to take down either Mike or Matt as soon as the men lose a challenge (which could be a while considering the way the female tribe is self-destructing).

Tarzan – The men did not receive much airtime at all this week, and the main reason we are even highlighting Tarzan here is simply because he reminds us a bit of a more refined doctor version of Big Tom — he runs around in a ridiculous outfit, makes loud noises, and is comic relief for most of his tribe. His strategy clearly seems to be to act as non-threatening as possible, and unless his physical health starts to break down (as he is the oldest person in the game), we expect him to make the merge.

Few people were perfect.

The losers

Matt and Mike – It’s hard to judge the men without seeing more of them, but here’s how to recap what these two guys have done with their beefcake alliance — they paired up with two other guys in a tribe of nine. How is that a majority? While Colton seems to think that they believe he is a part of their alliance, we haven’t seen any inclination of that on the beefcakes’ end.

If we have to wager which one of these two goes first, we’ll say Matt simply on the basis of how arrogant he comes across — but these guys seem relatively interchangeable at this point. All we know is that Colton wants them gone.

Alicia – We weren’t a big fan of her unneeded criticism of Christina last week, and this time around she made herself look bad in front of the tribe by doing nothing at camp for at least the time that they showed on TV. When Jeff Probst asked the five-girl alliance if they wished they had formed it with different people, we’re wondering if Kim, Chelsea, and Sabrina were thinking about Alicia in addition to Kat.

Kat – How many ways did Kat go wrong this week? Let’s count.

1. Annoying everyone at camp by constantly blabbing and being a distraction.

2. Not listening to the instructions of the balance-beam immunity challenge, making a mistake by jumping in the water when she didn’t have to, and then making the same mistake again later.

3. Playing the martyr at Tribal Council, and doing absolutely nothing to stand up for herself.

We don’t expect this current alliance to be as firm as the “South Pacific” cult from last season — if Kat continues to be a liability, we expect the tribe to turn on her soon. You have to stop the bleeding somewhere — why not go for the person who does not even look happy to be there?

Monica and Christina – We really like Monica as a player. She’s strong, seemingly kind, and does understand strategy to a certain degree. The problem is that she’s on the wrong side of the alliance, but we do at sense she has a possibility of campaigning for her life. Some of the same goes for Christina, but she seems to be in even greater danger since she’s not nearly as easy to get along with.

Nina’s out.

Nina – Finally, we turn to our eliminated contestant. Nina was the sad case of a contestant who deserved to be there longer (see Betsy from “Samoa” or Christine from “South Pacific”), but did not know how to articulate her argument right, was in the wrong alliance, and put her foot in her mouth on too many occasions.

By consistently tearing down Kat, Nina ended up likely getting the 22-year old a bit of sympathy — she should have stated her case, and then moved on and tried to suggest other possibilities without coming across as so tough. (Then again, maybe she did try to talk more solutions with her tribe — we’ll find out when we talk with her tomorrow.)

What did you think about this week’s craziness? Did Kat deserve to go after blowing the challenge and throwing herself a pity-party? Who do you think from the ladies’ tribe is best equipped for a deep run in the game? Take our poll and be sure to leave your thoughts in the comment box below.

Oh, and one more thing — get rid of the do-it-yourself challenges. We like Jeff Probst calling the shots on this show.

Photo: CBS

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