‘American Idol’ in Houston: everyone wants to be Scotty McCreery

Skylar’s delight at missing the revolution.

Texas has been a treasure trove for “American Idol” in the past, so it only makes sense that they would return … right? The moment we started things out with the dreadful “musical stylings” of one Phong Vu — a man who looked about ten years too old for this show and acted like he was desperate to summon the spirit of Toni Braxton.  Then, things started to go even further down the tubes with a series of men trying to be Scotty McCreery and failing. (Or, maybe it’s possible that they were channeling Josh Turner. They failed at this, too.)

Skylar Laine – Our first actual serious contestant of the night — and she was still a girl who literally keeps a deer head in her room. Following a season where we saw Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina dominate, it’s hard to fathom another country winner … but we have a feeling Skylar will still try.

Baylie Brown – It’s a ghost from “American Idols” past! Brown made it to Hollywood back in season 6, only to forget the lyrics later during the group rounds. Thankfully, she remembered the words this time.

Kristine Osorio – It’s nice to see contestants who aren’t a prototype come out on the show — and Kristine was just that. Vocally her voice was reminiscent of Pink, but she also had an interesting story of a mother of three who was going through a divorce. Thankfully, she chose to have an upbeat attitude rather than making it into a sob story.

Reagan WilsonCheyenne JamesLinda Williams – We really don’t know anything about these ladies, mostly because the show opted instead to focus their entire package on the three judges fighting each other like they were taking part in a GOP debate. J.Lo was actually in the right here — the two who should have stayed (in Reagan and Cheyenne) went home, whereas the shrill Linda found a way to carry on to Hollywood.

A revolution that nearly caused a war.

Alejandro Cazares a.k.a. “The Revolution” – Ladies and gentleman, we want to start a revolution. Think of an “American Idol” without ridiculous auditions, where the only “bad singers” are actually good singers who just need a little more training. Think of a world where we don’t have to watch people humiliate themselves and spout out delusional babble about changing the world.

Wait … much like Alejandro predicted that we would have an African-American President at some point, this has already happened. “Idol” did this last week in Pittsburgh. Why are we having to watch this drivel now?

Cortez Shaw – The moment Cortez announced that he was going to be singing Adele, Randy Jackson looked ready to smash his head against the desk. We know that approximately two trillion people over the course of the past year have auditioned to an Adele song … but Cortez actually managed to do something a little bit different with it.

More bad auditions – Sometimes we try to just forget these happen, so we just replay video in our video of Casey Abrams singing “Nature Boy,” Adam Lambert’s “Tracks of My Tears,” and any other “Idol” moment that reminds us why we love this show.

Ramiro Garcia – In closing out this show, we learned that Ramiro was a man of faith who has went through quite a bit — in particular, being born without ears. While sometimes stories of faith can come across as cynical, this was actually one of the most moving moments of the year so far. Did he have the best voice of the season? Probably not — but the vulnerability he showed with his “Amazing Grace” is something that almost makes us forget the Scotty wannabes and the revolution guy. Almost.

Who was your favorite from the audition rounds in Houston? Be sure to take our poll below — and of course, check back all season for some more quick reactions to all things “Idol” and beyond.

Photo: Fox

 

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