‘America’s Got Talent’ rankings: American Hitmen, Hype, Special Head in first live show
For all of the flack that we give “America’s Got Talent” for consistently putting acts through that are either questionably-talented or redundant, this really is a rather nice lineup that they have assembled for Tuesday night’s show. Most of these acts are people that are genuinely worth seeing again, and while a few are terrible / we don’t remember them, we’d say that many of them have a shot of advancing. At this stage in the competition, that’s the biggest compliment we can give.
Just like last season, we’re going to do our best to predict the acts that make it through like our talent is shaking a magic 8-ball. Are we going to be right all of the time? If we are, we’ll be going on this show ourselves as a reality competition psychic. We’re basing this on screentime, the type of act generally favored by America, and also just how talented they actually are. Oh, and the lineup comes to us via AGT News.
12. Aaralyn & Izzy – The entire novelty of this act (if it was ever a novelty) was watching a little girl scream at the top of their lungs. Gets old upon the third listen, as in ancient mummy old. Kind of a bummer that they let a kid in to serve as a joke act.
11. Fresh Faces – Another kid act, but we think most of the kid votes will go to Anna Christine. We had to look them up in order to remember who they, and that’s never a good sign. Plus, there’s nothing that really allows them to stand out from the crowd.
10. Special Head – We really want to rank Special Head higher because we like him, and we’re all for people flying their freak flag. But after what we saw the first time with his levitation maneuver, we just don’t think there’s anything left in this guy’s special tank.
9. Kevin Downey Jr. – If he changed his name to Robert, that would be awesome because he’d be Iron Man and we’ve never seen a superhero on stage before. Also, he wouldn’t be some token weird comedian that’s probably going to bomb on a live show.
8. Tellavision – Their skill incorporating technology and dance is cool, but Heidi Klum doesn’t like them. Plus, not a ton of screen time. We call them as the group opening the show tomorrow and being forgotten.
7. Kristef Brothers – Probably too arrogant to get through, even if most of their arrogance is ironic. America is not impressed with strong-men acts very often, and we don’t know what else that they can do.
6. Hype – Our favorite dance group of the year, mostly because there’s only three of them and we can keep track with the performance and the dance style. Unfortunately, we don’t know if anyone else really agrees with us.
5. Collins Key – We want to give him some points for being a young, talented magician with a ton of screen time, but what he is about to learn is very valuable on this show: Magic acts almost always get the shaft. They do well, but not enough to advance over people we don’t remember in a year’s time.
4. Branden James – An opera singer with a story about overcoming obstacles. Sounds picture perfect for this show. So long as he does not get buried at the start of the live show, he’ll advance faster than you can Howie Mandel shaves his head.
3. Alexandria the Great – There’s just something very inspiring about a 51-year old schoolteacher throwing herself into a pool in handcuffs and chains, and then finding a way to escape. We’re a sucker for these sort of magic / escape acts, especially since it almost never happens that you see a woman as the star.
2. Anna Christine – Were this a list of who we like, she wouldn’t be up anywhere near this high. But she’s a singer, and a kid. Combine these two things, then you might as well be throwing a steak to a lion. America eats this up like nobody’s business.
1. The American Hitmen – These guys ultimately check all of the boxes. They’re a great band (which the show rarely ever has), they have a moving story, and they have a ton of airtime. It’s almost like the judges didn’t send them through straight to Las Vegas just to give them another slot on the show.
Who do you want to see advance this week? You’ve already seen our picks, and now we want to hear yours; also, be sure to check out some other highlights from this season.
Photo: NBC