‘The Bachelor': meet — and fear — Kacie Boguskie’s dad

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Poor, poor Kacie.

We have seen a number of scary men on “The Bachelor” over the years — from Wes Hayden singing the same serenade to multiple women to Justin getting all “Rated R” all over Ali Fedotowsky’s season to Bentley Williams becoming the franchise’s version of Lord Voldemort.

As evil as some of these men were occasionally over the course of the season, none of them currently hold a candle to just how terrifying Kacie Boguskie’s father was during his brief few minutes in front of our TV sets.

Fear Factor

Yes, we know that Kacie’s hometown visit with Ben Flajnik was actually the second one that aired during the episode — but from the standpoint of being interesting, it is front and center here! Never have we seen parents on this sow be so skeptical, and also possess a set of beliefs that are so specific that very few men are going to end up making them happy.

We’re ultimately not going to be judgmental and chastise Mr. and Mrs. Boguskie for wanting Ben to take his time and not move in with their daughter after the show — this is how many traditional families operate, and there are men who agree with this set of values. The problem here is that Ben is not from this background — after all, the guy’s a winemaker, Kacie’s dad doesn’t drink, and we’re actually pretty sure that Mr. B (as we would call him if we did not fear him immensely) may actually be capable of scaring the alcohol out of wine with his eyes.

Thanks to the stringent attitude towards Ben by Kacie’s parents — along with her father saying out of earshot of our lead that he would not give Ben his blessing at the moment — it’s safe to say that this couldn’t go well. We didn’t really think Kacie would last longer than the final three since she’s really just not in the same place in her life seemingly as Ben — but we didn’t see her going home so quickly due to her own parents torpedoing her odds.

The duller dates

While we actually think that Ben has better connections emotionally with Nicki and Lindzi than anyone else on the show (mostly because dropping trou and jumping in the ocean does not count as an “emotional connection”) than anyone else on the show, these two dates really did not offer too much in the way of entertainment.

With Lindzi, we saw more horses, more mentions of the infamous break-up text (“welcome to Dumpsville!”), and parents who genuinely seemed like pretty cool people who wanted the best for their daughter. Meanwhile, Nicki’s date was a trip through everything that is fun about Texas — including getting your drinks slid to you at the bar and wearing gigantic cowboy hats. Her family was a little bit more skeptical than Lindzi’s, but we would only put them at about level two of the “danger of your in-laws giving you nightmares” scale compared to about a level 200 for Kacie’s dad.

Both these women did a good job articulating their feelings for Ben, but they do raise a question that we’ve been wondering ever since Ben first started giving puppy-dog eyes to Courtney — is he looking for a more ordinary life, or someone with a glamorous profession so he can travel around with her with his fancy case of wine?

Say your vows!

I … do?

First things first, we know that Ben must have had a good time with Courtney’s family. By the end of their time together, the tablecloth on their outdoor regionally-inspired hippie table looked like it was about to collapse to the ground in submission. Courtney’s dad ended up with his “willing to take the bet” speech sounding a little bit like Clint Eastwood — but the sweatervest he was wearing pretty much nullified any chance he ever had of frightening anyone.

What most people are probably going to ridicule Courtney for during this episode is probably her impromptu “wedding” — and we have to say, we actually saw a relatively kind side to her. Do we still think that she is manipulative at times on this show? Definitely, but somewhere in between her desperate pleas for air time we actually do think she wants to be loved. Her main issue is that she comes across as aggressive, and she does it to the extent that either people tend to take advantage of her or she doesn’t communicate herself properly and ends up saying some pretty awful things.

We really don’t have any problem with Courtney simulating a wedding since it caused both of them to talk about their feelings — and while it did give the model the airtime she so desired, it was effective when it came to bringing the two of them together. (Update: Since we’ve just heard this a few hours after posting, we may as well pass it on — it appears as though Courtney actually typed out her vows from an episode of a certain Sarah Jessica Parker – HBO product, and thus has changed our entire opinion on this whole stunt. As for why we didn’t notice this at first, give the girl as Oscar for selling it.)

Back to Tennessee

Regardless of how many times Ben said that he could picture himself in Kacie’s world, it was obvious from the way in which Ben looked like he wanted to run out of the Boguskie house screaming that he was sending her home. The debate with Chris Harrison and the awkward “staring at pictures as if that will change your mind” really wasn’t even necessary thanks to this.

During the actual Rose Ceremony itself, the only real surprise was seeing Courtney give one of her trademark cackles after receiving the rose first — and with this, she lost some of the goodwill her hometown date had earned her.

Following Kacie’s exit, we witnessed what may have been one of the saddest and realest meltdowns in the show’s history. We’re currently wondering what her conservative parents think about her shouting the f-bomb in agony on television — it has to be tough, right? On a more serious note Kacie may be better off getting away from the drama now — and we have a feeling she’ll be just fine.

Next week … there’ll be romance in the mountains of Switzerland! There will also be a surprise guest! Then, we will also have our first look at Emily Maynard as “The Bachelorette” — though we are personally still wondering how getting your nails done with Ali and Ashley Hebert in California counts as “getting advice on your season.”

Photo: ABC

 

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